Author: monika pareek

The Mirror Theory

The world is a projection of our consciousness. The only way we can change the perspective of the people around us is by changing the way we look at the world. That simply means to bring about some change in our consciousness. Everything around is a mirror, a mirror that reflects all that you do or think. In every situation, every relationship, you would find reflections of your own self and doings. Each one of us has a world of his own, though all those private spaces of ours are entangled in each other to create a greater whole, a unified consensual reality. There is nothing too complex about this mirror theory though. The mirrors that exist all around us transform us socially and ultimately result in the formation of the being that we are today. We love some people and we hate some. But we love the ones who reflect the same energies as we do and we do not like the ones who possess the traits that we repel.

There is a simple exercise that will help you know yourself in a better way and you may understand the reflections the mirrors around you create each day. Think of a person whom you find really admirable and attractive. On a sheet of paper, think about the traits that they possess which you absolutely love and write them down. Now when you go through the sheet, you will realize that you have the same traits too. It’s just that you don’t believe in yourself. Stand up and manifest those traits in your life. You too can reflect all that they have in them.

Now, on the same sheet of paper, write down about the person you are emotionally detached to. Read through the traits. You contain them too, but it’s just that those negative traits aren’t that obvious in you. But they may be obvious before the ones, who spend more time with you, like your family. So when do these negative facets in your personality come to the surface? It happens when you are STRESSED! Stress becomes the villain here and people get to see the demons hiding within you during times of pressure. By getting to know ourselves and augmenting the qualities of those we admire in our own lives, we take a step further towards our spiritual awakening. When we recognise that the characteristics that repel us from others lie within us too, then a power is diffused that overshadows those traits which hold us in a state of denial. By doing this, we finally accept the wholeness that is contained within us and the compassion helps us create a different relationship with our own self and the ones we love.

Once you accept that you possess all kinds of traits, be it negative or positive, you may realize that the same holds true for others too. We are all angels and demons together manifested into a single human form. And as the mirror theory goes, when we cannot judge ourselves, we cannot even judge others. The world that we live in is a manifestation of our consciousness, a projection with all kinds of positive and negative qualities. So, when we focus on transforming our world by changing our perspectives, it changes our experiences and so our relationships with people change too.

Being self-righteous is alright at times, but feeling personally offended or letting your ego take over your sanity can be problematic. Even if you strongly disagree with people’s opinions and do not like what they do or say, you must not hold any grudges against them as individuals. Because, according to the mirror theory, it will all reflect back to you. Agree to disagree humbly and politely.

To learn to reflect and receive positive energies is a slow process, but be patient, and with time it will bring ease, love, comfort and spontaneity to every aspect of your life. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Understand that this spiritual change would take time, but when it happens, it will be worth all the hard work that you put into it.

What is really important is while this entire change is taking shape within you; keep in mind those people who are deeply attached to you. Again when you begin to write all the good and the bad things about these people, you will know that it’s the emotional charge that associates you with all of them. Had it not been the emotions, nobody could have acted as a mirror for you or vice versa. Now mix up all these sheets of paper and put them in a circle. The circle represents the ‘whole’ which is YOU! Yes, you! You are a reflection of all that is around you. Wow, isn’t the theory so interesting? Indeed it is.

This entire theory is to let us know how each one of us are a part of the other and it’s the unique WHOLE that is more important than the special ONE! Its love and compassion that binds us together and hatred and envy breaks us into unimaginable, singular, helpless beings. Just be an amazing human being and see how all the amazing mirrors reflect your beauty.

June 15, 2014
Rajasthan: The land of culture and heritage.

When the native tribes of Rajasthan sing “Padharo Mhare Des”, the guests feel honoured to be welcomed to the land known for its chivalry and etiquette and more than that, for its hospitality. From the time of the Maharajas, guests were held in high respect and even the enemies were treated with humbleness. What better greeting could a visitor want to hear that the enthralling tune of ‘Padharo Mhare Des”!

They call it the “land of royal Rajputs”! But is it just that? I believe not. There is so much more about this land of astonishing colours and elements where every facet is designed so very uniquely. Echoes of the history can be heard in its exquisite forts, monuments and palaces that are designed with absolute architectural splendour. All the festivals in the state are celebrated with great vibrancy and grandeur that showcase folk dances and songs about tragedy, romance and courage of the great kings. The state boasts of it brilliant art and paintings that take your heart at once. The state is extremely popular for its rich culture and tradition. It’s the land of romantic forts and magnificent palaces, where resonate in the air, the tales of valour and sacrifice. It’s the state I have always been in love it. Whether it’s travelling during a desert safari or visiting a holy temple, Rajasthan is the perfect tourist destination for everyone.

Pushkar

The Pushkar Lake

The legends say that Lord Bhrahma dropped a Lotus flower to Earth and Pushkar floated to surface. It is a small Hindu pilgrimage town with one of the world’s only Bhrahma temples. A mystic lake lies in the centre of the town that is aligned by rows of Ghats. The sky is usually dull grey and hundreds of temples and domes sit under it. You may find a lot of hippies and backpackers in Pushkar all through the year. People come here to get in touch with their spiritual self or just to enjoy the peace and calmness that persist in the environment here. The town really comes alive during the Pushkar Mela in November during which the main attraction is the Camel Fair. It is fascinating to see a tradition as old as hundreds of years still continuing in today’s world.

Jodhpur

Umaid Palace

Walk through the galleries of the Umaid Bhavan in Jodhpur and you will know what it is to stand in one of the largest forts of the world. Jodhpur is popularly known as the “Sun City”. The skyline of the city is dominated by the view of the eccentric Mehrangarh fort. The magnificent Umaid Bhawan Palace, the graceful cenotaph of Jaswant Thada and the beautiful Madore Garden are the pride of Rajasthan.

Jaisalmer

The Jaisalmer fort

Jaisalmer is a city that seems to have come out right from an Arabian Nights fable. A city that rises magically from the sand dunes of the state. The majestic Jaisalmer fort is perched high on a pedestal that overlooks the city. When you enter the fort, it looks alive and spellbinding. Consisting of 5 temples, various temples, and some amazingly exquisite mansions, a stroll through the huge fort will charm you beyond imagination.

Udaipur

The Lake Palace

Udaipur. One of the most beautiful cities in the world. The beauty of the city will leave you awestruck. It is an enchanting place with huge havelis, intricate palaces which overlook glistening lakes and when the sun rays hit the waters which reflect it toward the forts, the beauty of the city grows manifold. The way Udaipur has been constructed is exquisite as the architecture portrays both the Rajput and the Mughal lineage. Also, the narrow lanes of the old Udaipur city are worth exploring. The city is often referred to as the “Venice of the East”. The Jag Mandir, the Palace Museum, the Sahelio ki Bari stand as witness to the hoary past of the city. Take a boat ride in the Pichola Lake, and it would become an experience of a lifetime.

Jaipur

Hawa Mahal

Let’s come to the capital now. Jaipur. The city closest to my heart! It’s huge, it’s loud, it’s crowded and it’s full of vigour. Jaipur is part of the Golden Triangle tourist circuit in India and lures tourists from all round the globe. A visit to the city will make you experience the glory of the monarchy that once ruled the city. The city has some of the most amazing heritage hotels that have been converted to 5 Star hotels from old havelis, giving the visitors a grand feel during their stay. Visit the Hawa Mahal, Jal Mahal and Jaigrah fort, all of which are designed to showcase tremendous technological capabilities even the olden days. The Bapu Bazar is the main market place and one may experience the best of shopping here. The beautiful lehengas, bandhini, ethnic clothes, handicrafts, mojris will all make you come back with hands full of shopping bags.

Rajasthan therefore, is not only the “land of the Rajputs”, it is the land of sand dunes, the land of heritage, the land of culture, the land of camel safaris, the land of wildlife, the land where the Maharajas fought bravely to protect it from the Mughal rule, the land where valour and courage runs in the blood of its people. A land of colours. A land of festivities.

It is the land where even today, guests are treated as Gods. A land where ATHITHI DEVO BHAVA is not just preached, but practised too!

June 15, 2014
The pretty little butterfly! 🙂

“Happiness”! One of the most complex words to understand in the human vocabulary. And yet, each one of us runs to attain this intangible state all our lives. I wish I had a better partner, wish I had a new pair of clothes, wish I could buy a new car, and wish I had that job. Wish I had this or that and then I would be happy. But lets’ just look at it from another perspective. Will anything change when you have one of those things? The world would remain the same even if you have a better partner, or a new pair of clothes, or a bigger car or a job that looks nicer to you. Every time the wrapper could be different, but the gift inside remains the same. Happiness for me is like that pretty little butterfly we run around chasing, never being able to catch it while it comes and sits on our shoulder when we stop chasing it.

Every time we see a baby giggling and smiling at us, we realize how much we have lost as we grew up. We lost that sense of innate happiness as time passed and we attained maturity. Have we ever thought why that little baby’s happiness never seems to vanish? How does that baby appear all cheerful and full of joy all the time? The answer is simple. At that stage of life, the self is unaware of the complexities of life. It is ‘benighted’ if we can call it that. Basically, that young self is just in touch with the real happiness that lies within. That little baby does not get burdened by societal pressures or tensions. For the baby, happiness is a balloon, a piece of candy, or maybe a colourful new toy. Happiness for that baby is looking around and adapting to new things. Meeting new people and smiling at the faces who try to talk to him like they are his age.

As time passes, the boulders of pressures and responsibilities fall over and push that little baby in us beneath them. The real happiness gets overshadowed while finding a purpose in life, while sitting in the office for extra hours to get a bonus, while missing out on a summer trip because you had meetings scheduled during that time. As we grew older, we learn about sadness and suffering and loss. That innate happiness fades because of more externalised circumstances. The occurrences in the surrounding start mattering to us. We stop living in the present. Most of our times are spent in living in the past or planning the supposedly “perfect” future. If one of your friends criticized you for something, the next couple of days will be spent in contemplating about that criticism. What would happen or occur tomorrow occupies our minds and disturbs us greatly today. This again stops us from living in the moment. We fail to understand that living in THIS moment and being happy about it is more imperative that clinging to the past or thinking about what the future would bring.

So is there still a way we can get hold of the happiness we had within us while we were a baby? To find that innate happiness which maybe is still there within us but while accomplishing certain things in life, we put it on the peripherals of our existence?

Yes there is. And the solution is to ‘Live in the Moment’.

If we look towards tomorrow for attaining happiness, there are chances that tomorrow, we would feel the same. It sounds strange but it is actually true that while looking at tomorrow, we forget to appreciate the beauty of the moments that we are living in today. We should practice appreciating what we already have rather than waiting for all that we don’t. Start counting the blessings and we will know what our present is worth. At times, we get too worked up about things and get hyper. Maybe we did not get a promotion we were waiting for from months. We should stop taking ourselves too seriously. It is difficult to stay humorous at times of suffering or loss, but sharing a small laughter could actually help in making the weight of the circumstance lighter and help us accept the loss sooner. Remember that angles fly because they are light.

Just be yourself. It’s always good to be you rather than being pretentious and trying to be someone else. No other person is better than you. You are His unique creation and He loves us all equally.

Try to be friends with your own self. Close your eyes and try to find that little happy self that is hiding somewhere within. It is said that the greatest downfall for a man is when he does not know himself. That little baby is still there hiding within you. Find him.

Forgive yourself for all that you have done in the past. Had it not been the past, you wouldn’t have been what you are today. You need to forgive yourself for getting angry, for feeling hurt, for getting frustrated at times. Know that you have grown into a better person because of learning from those past experiences.

And finally, don’t forget to treat and surprise that little child within you. Play with the kids in the colony, go out on a hiking trip with strangers, sit in the balcony enjoying a cup of coffee reading your favourite book, buy yourself your favourite chocolate once in a while, dance in the rain, jump in puddles, spend time with the one you love, do all the small things that bring a smile to your face and the ones around you. Live each moment that you breathe and never miss out on the little things that life offers each moment for you to be happy.

Just find that little baby within you and that pretty butterfly will quietly come and sit on your shoulder.

June 15, 2014
Cakes and History

We all enjoy eating those delicious, yummy cakes. Don’t we? The mere sight of that scrumptious, chocolate-draped cake (with that vanilla icing and cherry on top 😉 ) on a friend’s birthday party makes us yearn for a better, a ‘fit-for-gods” kind of a cake for our own birthday party!! When I was five, I wished for a super delicious yummy cheesecake for my birthday when my mom took me to my little cousin’s party who had got a strawberry cake for him.

Oh yes, CAKES. Who doesn’t love them? Whether it is a birthday or a wedding or even for those small little surprise parties at home, there is a cake for every occasion and for everyone. For that ‘sweet tooth fanatic’, for that ‘size- zero loving’ woman, for that ‘diabetic and still a sweet tooth fanatic’, and for the one who just loves anything sweet. But do any of us know anything about how cakes came into being? No, right? So, here is a small insight into the history of our favourite food. “Cakes”.
The history of cake is rich with rituals and symbolisms from different cultures and countries, all coming together to shape the cakes we know today. According to food historians, the Egyptians were the first tribe who showed evidence of possessing the skills of baking. Maybe they were fed up with the usual meat and hence started to try their hands at baking something new. However the cakes were sweetened with honey instead of sugar and were bread-like. The great poet Ovid mentions enjoying a cake during his brother’s birthday party in Tristia. History also claims that cake became a thing in ancient Greece. Some say that cakes came up only after the Middle Ages, and people enjoyed cakes only while celebrating festivals or on a birthday celebration. The tradition of adding small figurines to the cake and blowing the candles and singing a birthday song before the cake cutting began in England.
And why are the cakes usually round? Ever wondered? Here’s the answer. Although these days, we have a variety of shapes from heart-shaped to cartoon characters, animals, castles, and even photo cakes (where you have the picture of the person you are giving the cake to). But cakes were traditionally round, symbolizing the cyclical nature of life, the sun and the moon, which is probably why we have cakes during important events in our lives, highlighting that we are embarking on a new journey. The angel and the demon cakes! Yes there are cakes with those names. Angel food cakes were named as such due to their white and fluffy exterior, which came from egg whites supposedly symbolizing angels. However, if angels were there, could demons be far? Devil cakes started becoming popular in the 20th century. They were named so because the rich chocolate taste was so blissfully delicious that they were considered sinful. Even today, some people still think of eating chocolate as sinful due to the effects it has on their waistline. Today, cakes are served during holidays, weddings, baptisms, etc. Basically cakes have always been a part of all the significant moments in our lives. Ancient rituals have the tradition of eating cake at during ceremonial occasions. Cakes were offered to the spirits and Gods who showcased their special powers at particular times of the year. In China, cakes were made in honor of the moon goddess, Heng O at the time of harvest. Pancakes are made in Russia to pay respect to the Goddess of Spring called Maslenitsa. At the time of their traditional festival, the Beltans rolled cakes downhill to depict some solar movement. They hoped that rolling the cake would ensure the continuous movement of Sun. Strange as it sounds, but the Celts believed that if the cake broke while moving downhill, it was indicative of the person’s death within a year. Across the globe, people made cake offerings to deities and Gods during the time of harvest and the cakes were prepared from fruits and grains that were born out of the soil.

Times passed, and technology took center stage. In the 19th century, lives of the bakers became easier. Baking powder was born from sodium bicarbonate and baking became a faster process. Soon, ovens were invented and accurate temperatures could be used to bake the cake for just the optimum amount of time. With technological advancements, new techniques for levelling and sweetening developed. What was initially regarded as a form of sweet bread now has a category of its own and comes in various varieties and colors. Today you have them all. The cakes, the pancakes, the cupcakes, pop cakes and what not!
So there you have it. Historical and insightful things to know about the cakes we eat to treat our taste buds. Like everything else, cakes have had their moments in history too. So the next time you savor your taste buds with that tasty cake think of all the human inventions needed over time, to allow you to this little luxury.

June 15, 2014